Things I’ve wanted to do

But never did:
(In the hope this will spur me to do some of it this year)

1. Learn Spanish
Yeah I did start off but it just fell in between work somewhere

2. Learn the guitar
I’m half tone deaf but I’d still like to

3. Go paragliding
Or parasailing or even bungee jumping. I should probably start off with bungee jumping. Or head straight into diving out of the sky… cuz these days i’ve become a bit of a chicken. I like being a drama queen but being a chicken for the drama is a little… sad.

4. Exercise
Not to lose weight. Just to be healthy and toned. I took a gym membership – the first time i let it lapse without ever entering the gym. The second time I did two weeks before annoyance with the trainer (who gave me exercises meant for people who want to lose weight when I repeatedly told him i’m there just for fitness. I’m thin for heaven’s sake. Or was then) and other activities (like my belly dancing class) interfered.

5. Catalogue my library
I’ve been trying to do this for the past 6-8 years. Everytime I try, my computer crashes.

6. Visit East India
Always wanted to. Wanted to visit the tribes and stuff before they disappear. Actually visit any place which still retains its native tribes and customs. And do NOT say the urban tribe. I live in a city jungle!

7. Have an exhibition of my paintings
And now my photos too. This has been on the list forever! I paint only when i’m depressed… and i’ve been depressed but without time… and when I’ve time, i’m alright. And I don’t want to be sad, so the painting count has stalled over the past few months.

8. Visit Istanbul and Budapest
Yeah… the travel list didn’t really have these places on the list. But I woke up one day and I realised that is where I wanna go next. Don’t ask me why. This is how the travel bug works and i’m glad it is functioning again.

That’s all I can think of for now. So i’m leaving you with something I wrote a while ago:

we mourn that we are wasting time… we bitch that the whole year is wasted and that you cannot recall a single worthy event in the past few months.

Yet when I look back on years which were sort of similar, I realise that I lived through them. Really lived. Doing small and maybe insignificant things… but that is what living was. And when I think about it… I forget all the moments on inactivity and remember only the things that happened.

Maybe that is the way our mind is structured – to forget the inactive spaces and remember only the possibilities and the deeds. And one day, when you are flipping through your journal, it hits you… that you lived. That you shopped for groceries and you saw some weird people in the shop… that you came back after a long day at work and sat on the porch with a glass of wine, watching the horizon… that you spent a night with friends watching bad movies and eating too much of junk food… that you tried a disastrous receipe when you knew you couldn’t even boil water… things that you had forgotten while trying to live in this year and make the future happening.

Someone once said life happens when you are not looking. I just realised how true it is.

So someday I will look back on those night shifts where I got random thoughts, the days we ordered icecream and grilled chicken… the days we laughed like loons about silly jokes all the while complaining that this wasn’t where we wanted to be – and then I’ll remember that even through the desert of nothingness – something did happen. Life. It is happening right now.

Song of the day: Smoke Two Joints – Bob Marley

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