It has been hectic. Waking up and working like normal people do leaves time to do nothing else. Plus my body is still catching up (or rebelling against) with the time, so I struggle to wake up, head straight for the bath where I boil myself awake and gulp down whatever mom puts in front of me before I rush out.
When I return, it is all I can do to keep my eyes open till I manage to eat something.
And dating in the middle of all of this. Dating wasn’t meant for people like me… I like having my own time, doing my own thing. It is nice to have someone “there” for you, someone who is obligated to take your calls and all that jazz. But that works two ways and I’m not sure I can be that unselfish. It is all roses when I am with The Boy. It is only when I am alone, the voices creep in. The voices which question my decision, and make me doubt if I can last through this relationship.
Perhaps it would’ve been easier if I had fallen in love first… would the heartache been easier to live through the guilt of being with someone? And I am being shallow. The guy already has a disadvantage because he does not match the image in my head. You know… the smooth, sophisticated, well-traveled, chisled bone face guy. Yep. Shallow. Why did I agree to date him then?
Because I like him. There is something that pulls me. And ofcourse, you got to admire the guts it took to come and tell me what he did tell me. And the fact that he does give me all the space I want… which again makes me hesitate to make a move, because I am not sure what he wants. There is no easy way out of this. Carpe Diem.
On other news, the little break during the day helped things I guess. Put some things into perspective – like how i am absolutely not cut out to wake up early and all that jazz. And that I do miss work – I always knew that but the past few months had made things a little queasy. Now, I wonder how it will be to work those days again. There is the interest, the excitement and all of that. And that old desire to do bigger and better things.
The photowalk is still pending… that whole day where I do nothing but take photos – of people, of places, of things… whatever catches my eye.
I haven’t got time to do anything else… I wonder how normal people manage these things. My friends – whom I used to bitch never got time to meet. Yes, i do juggle things and still socialize but it is an effort now. And I am tired so I am not all the ‘wooohooo’ sorts. which makes my friends wonder what is wrong.
And I’ve been reading so much that there is an information overload. So now I know something about everything and have no idea where I read anything. But I did rediscover http://www.thevigilidiot.com – which has awesome cartoon strip reviews of mostly Indian movies and a few Hollywood ones. Sarcastic and hilarious.
Does anyone know interesting, funny blogs? Lemme know! The intense reading is frying the brain cells. Or it could be the heat… and it is March yet. Dreading the months to come!
I’ll update all the opinions about the serious stuff soon. There is plenty brewing.
Song of the day: Made in India – Alisha