What’s Your Rashee

Alright! I bought this upon myself. Everyone had warned me that this movie was horrible but on a sunday afternoon with nothing else on TV, and confined to the couch, this was my best bet.

Though this must be titled “How Much Torture Can You Bear”

There are ways to save your brain while watching it. Here is how:

1. Make sure you’ve the remote in your hand
2. Make sure there is something else on TV as well (You watch this in between the ad breaks of the something else, which – let’s accept it – is long enough to catch another movie as well)
3. Make sure you’ve a high sense of humor or have someone with you who can point out the obvious flaws in the movie
4.  Lots of junk food (lacking in my case)
5. Start the movie mid-way

So let’s begin. I’m not sure where I started the movie… I think it was at Virgo or something. I did think that the basic… you know that scratch everything else and that thin line that was at the bottom of the barrel – had the makings of an interesting movie. Of course, for that we’d need much better make up artists, a script writer who could come up with 12 extreme personalities and backgrounds instead of a change in hairstyle and wardrobe and… so called changes in personality quirks.

But anyway… here is NRI Gujju boy who is in India to shop for a bride. As he really lacks time, he figures it would be enough to meet one girl from every sunsign to decide who’d be the (un)lucky one to spend the rest of his life with. So he goes shopping with a hapless uncle… and he meets varieties of Priyanka – the one with the short hair, the one with the long hair, the one with the frizzy hair, the one with the medium hair, the one with realllllly long hair.

And as our boy considers himself a prize, he wants the perfect girl. So what if he really cannot differentiate between any of them? He hangs around while they sing him a song – and this is when you need to use your remote to change back to the original program and come back say… 15 minutes later.

So he rejects the girl who wants to be a model and use him a passport. And the super religious one – who uses that as a reason to have sex. And then there is the… little visit to a really down area – possibly the only scene in which Priyanka looks different. Of course, I didn’t figure she was playing a 15 year old. I just thought she was mentally challenged or something.

Of course, do not miss the ending. The astrologer tells him that there is one particular girl who will bring him luck = money, which his family is in dire need of. And as this is the 21st century, the amount is in crores. So… the hapless uncle tells him “turn up on the appointed day and there’ll be a girl waiting, with the money”.

So the boy gives up his dreams of love (though he had agreed to marry pretending-to-be-mad princess priyanka but I figure the choppers chopped that bit off) and turns up and everyone is speculating who the girl is.

Of course, you are wondering too… cuz you know, there were at least 4-5 girls who looked really similar. What you DON’T EXPECT is that the boy is wondering who she is too. Literally “Oh she can’t be that cuz she said this and she can’t be that. So this must be either xx or yy” and the girl isn’t even covering her face!

So apparently, all the girls did look similar, even if he is “madly” in love with one of the girls, who well, as it is a hindi movie, turns out to be the same girl he loves. And if you haven’t already run like mad – here’s the kicker – nobody knows what fricking zodiac she belongs to.

Now, if you find whoever directed/wrote/planned/though of this movie – put them up against a wall and execute them.

Photo of the Day: Oh I  miss the strawberry season!!!

Yummy by Eduardo Deboni.
Yummy by Eduardo Deboni
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3 thoughts on “What’s Your Rashee

  1. I haven’t seen the movie, but I have heard about the film being stretched endlessly. The movie is based on ‘Kimball Ravenswood’. Ketan Mehta made an awesome TV show for Durdarshan called Mr. Yogi based on same novel, and the show was a decent hit in late 80s (Part credit should go to Mohan Gokhale who was a Marathi/Gujarati theatre actor to bring depth in the central character. Also, the character became so popular that it appeared in a TV ad for TVS Luna). Which brings me to conclusion that the treatment of the subject was messed up by the director, and probably I should support your call to execute poor bugger. But on the other hand I am thinking to defend the director because he has entertained me with movies like Baazi and Jodhaa Akbar. I hate his Lagaan, and haven’t watched his Swades, but I guess he has done his bit to entertain me, strongly object his execution :).

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    1. Wasn’t Lagaan made by Ashutosh Gowarikar? I liked Lagaan… the concept, the way they actually pulled it off. Aamir Khan does do a great job or executing a movie.
      Swades was great as all, again by AG. A little different and idealistic but good for a watch.
      And honestly, this movie comes NO WHERE anywhere near those previously mentioned…

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      1. Check out AG’s IMDB page for movies credited to him as a Director, its there. Lots of critics were surprised that AG made a terrible film like this. But hey, you take any director in the history of cinema and they would conceived a bad egg sometime, ofcourse unless we are talking about Kurosawa or Kubrick. So I guess we can give this guy a break for the moment (I mean, I know you were not serious about executing poor bugger, when you said it).

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