Dressed for the Globe – Oops

Okay I’ve been meaning to do this for a while… and I warn you right now, if you do not like fashion, frills and silly-ness, go away from this post right now.

Golden Globes and Oscars are important… the winners of those awards gain another year in mileage, regardless of age and such things. Sales of  dvds also go up because there are always people who want to watch an ‘oscar-winning movie’. But the most fun part is the dresses. Who wore what and how did they look. The men… unless someone wear a Scottish kilt, an Indian kurta, a Japanese kimono, we don’t care. They all wear white and black and maybe a different tie.

But the women… So let’s start…

Bad Bad Badl:

Natalie Portman:
Nominated for Black Swan. Except, what was she thinking????? It looks like a silk towel held together by a rose. Huffington Post said this was one of the best dressed women but apart from the beautiful peach colour of the dress and that Tiffany chain around her neck, I really can’t see why! You’ve got that awesome figure (with all the ballet training and stuff)… show it off… or hide it properly!

Dress by: Viktor & Rolf

January Jones:
Now I’ve no idea who this woman is. And she’s wearing a Versace…  but I just found it a little bizzare for the Globe. It isn’t bad… it is really good actually… but it still comes in the ‘off’ list. And then the shoes… Black pumps… I do agree a lot of people won’t look waist-down, particularly in this case… but black shoes? Couldn’t she find like maybe… red, peace, golden, silver?

Jennifer Love Hewitt:
Is that a shell there? She wears a Romonoa Keveza (hope I got the spelling right) but it just looks so… off! Too many pleats… May it is just me… but I don’t think too many people can carry off that sheath look.

Sarah Hyland:
Are pastels the colour of the season? And I know you are young and have awesome… upper body but trying to squeeze that into something a size smaller than you just isn’t the way to showcase it. She got everything else right… if only someone had fixed the the rest of the dress, she’d have been a killer!

Julia Stiles

Julia Stiles:
Now, I love this girl. I love her movies… particularly “10 Things I Hate About You” (Heath Ledger <3) but this one… she looks like the wicked witch of the west… especially with her hands on the hips and all that. What is with the fringe, the trail? The dress is yet another Romonoa Keveza…

Catherine Zeta Jones

Catherine Zeta-Jones:
Yet another woman whom I considered to have an awesome sense of style. Is that a carpet she is wearing? Like what on earth is that even supposed to be? Why is she wearing that? Who let her out of the house like that?

Dress by: Monique Lhuillier and Van Cleef

Anne Hathaway

Anne Hathaway:
I think she forgot to change her clothes after the movie Alice In Wonderland. Or she got so tired of being the White Queen and wearing white (and looking bleached) that she went the other way and picked out the blingiest thing possible. The dress isn’t bad… I like the colour. If I could get past the bling. The back rocks though. Total stunner! I’m actually a little divided on this. Vote for it. “Oops” or “WOW”?

Designer: Giorgio Armani Privé

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez:
This one should have been at the top. Like really really at the top. Here are things I’d like to tell Ms.Lopez – White is a colour for weddings, for the bride. Veils are worn on the head, or like… in a more artful way. Never tie up your  hair like that which makes you looks all… pinched. And when you do all that – do NOT paint your eyes to resemble the Oriental style. That look suits only those who are born with it. You are a beautiful woman! Celebrate those curves… but don’t draw a line so severely around it. The dress is gorgeous… it would just suit someone who didn’t have to look like they’ve to stop breathing to wear it.

Christina Aguilera:
Yet another disaster – bad hair day + trying to be a mermaid. I actually like this dress… if it had a high collar. And minus that lace and flesh combination. But right now… I feel like a South Indian actress – known for their voluptuousness –  is trying to fit into a dress made for Shilpa Shetty. Celebrating the curves is something these women need to learn – the right way. Look at Amber Riley!

Halle Berry - Whaaa!

Halle Berry:
I really want to weep… all my favorite women – dressed horribly! Did she forget some of the accessories at home? Like a wrap? Did something get caught in the limo door or something… I mean what possible excuse could be there for THIS?! Agreed, for a 44-year old woman, she does have an awesome body. Much praised. But it looks like she walked out of the gym or something. And this being a Nina Ricci dress!!!

Mila Kunis: Huh is alllllllllllllll I can say. Check out the image here. It is a Vera Wang – I had high hopes!

Julianne Moore: I will not post the picture, because it might just blind you! If you REALLY wanna see it, click here.

Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum:
Now I know you are supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in the world and all that… but turning up like you were at a beach party in California for the Golden Globe is taking arrogance a little too far. There are little girls out there who adore you, who  imitate you. Don’t teach them bad habits! Not that you don’t look gorgeous and all… and love the shoes. But the dress? Really? I was a little shocked to find it was a Marc Jacobs! I thought it was a sarong you picked up, tossed a belt around and voila! (or almost)

(Okay… this was a long post. Guess I’ll make the “WOW” another post… Will link it soon, if you that lazy :-))

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