Therapist’s Couch

And i’m back to being controversial again…

While chatting with an old friend, she mentioned some  of her concerns about her child. He is about 4 years old and he managed to get his hands on some skin magazines the couple had hidden. Well, not so well hidden, but the kid (toddler?) managed to pull them out and found them hilarious. Nudity is not really an issue at the age of 4 and I do not think that the kid would’ve thought of it in any other way. But my friend was seriously freaked. Freaked to the extent, she tells me, that their house is now ‘clean’. And she wonders if she has to start saving up for therapist’s fees.

I was a little confused. I am absolutely not qualified to make a comment or offer her anything more than general reassurance that her son would not be permanently scarred by the sight of some naked boobs at the age of 4. But it did make me wonder if we pay a little too much attention to psychology these days. Ignorance can be bliss. Our parents did plenty of things that psychologists today would not approve of and we are perfectly fine (for most part).

This blog I read ‘Mad Momma’ talks about how it is difficult holding a party these days… there needs to be special kid entertainment areas and nannies and such she says. And compares it to the time when they were kids and were allowed to roam around as they wished till they just fell asleep on the couch. The parents would scoop them up on the way home and dump them into their beds. That’s how I grew up. I watched people enjoy a drink, flirt and laugh and had my head ruffled more number of times than I care to count. I did not believe that everyone who drank was an alcoholic, that everyone who flirted would end up in bed together, or if people were sleeping together, it was their business.

Why do we have these fake ideas in our society? In conversation with a friend from New York recently, he mentioned that he absolutely enjoyed reading the matrimonial ads in India. He says that if he ever starts a band, he would definitely have a song called ‘caste no bar’. And then maybe something about ‘being pure’.

It seems harder and harder to bring up a child in this environment. And a lot of the confusion that a child has seems to be arising from the parents’ own complexes and confusion about their identity. That constant struggle between being ‘truly Indian and traditional’ vs. ‘we are open minded’.

Can we just live?

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