The Day I Shud’ve Stayed in Bed

Blackberrys, iPhones, smart phones, touch phones, laptops and touch pads. Technology rules us and I’m fast growing sick of it. So much that I didn’t even want to write this. I actually scribbled on a piece of paper, till I ran out of time to write.

This is one of those days when I shud’ve stayed at home. There is nothing worse than being super busy, corrections and emails from your boss. Rather the super boss. And the email being sent to every single person that matters.

It is a myth I guess that i work well under pressure. I need a little bit of pressure to get me moving but too much can really put me out of joint that I do thinks for the heck of it. And I make mistakes, which makes me more annoyed and hence more mistakes.

You know what they say about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? It doesn’t work when you enter the twilight zone, which is where I feel I am right now. everything is going horribly wrong and I’m super close to losing it!

I don’t know hy!

Why are my mistakes always so glaringly huge?!? They are rare but whatever comes across makes people forget all the good work I’ve done over the months. And praise is sparingly meted out anyway.

It is perhaps time to move. Pull out that address book.

***

Anyway, other things to take my mind off (not that I thought anything but what I was doing today. No reading 😦

Tiger Woods – What WAS with that apology? I hear it stopped markets and had most number of people tuning into it in a long time. The guy cheated on his wife. Got it. Cheated on her a lot. Yes. And then he apologizes in front of a camera, in front of the whole world? When his wife is not even in the room?

And now he is apparently undergoing the 12 steps treatment for sex addiction. Okay maybe there is such a thing. But how do you define it? How do you differentiate a cheating because from sex addiction?

More than half the celebrities out there have cheated on their wives. Boris Becker? Shane Warne? So what’s the fuss with this guy? They gain notoriety, fame, fortune… women are attracted to that and boom. It just means he had no will power and didn’t respect what he had enough. Finito. And how does this stop him from playing his game? Just because his secret’s out, he can’t play golf anymore? WTF!

^^^^
In other news, there was a fire in a building just down the road from where I work. 9 people died I believe. It was the closest a tragedy struck home. And this is a popular building as well… housing some of the favorite weekend spots in the city. And I know it should’ve all been sad and upsetting, but the TV channels turned it into such a farce.

I absolutely hate it when they loop the same 10 second footage over and over again. In this case, it was of a guy jumping off the building (whoever shot it would’ve made tons!), people being helped out of the building.

Why can’t they interview some of the people standing there? Get some fire experts, building security experts to talk? In a normal manner that is. Just because there is airspace to fill, they keep harping about the same subjects. 24-hour news channels were the worst things to hit television and I say this despite being a journalist. Or because I am a journalist. It absolutely goes everything that we were taught or why we wanted to be reporters.

^^^
<^> More, Richard Marx apparently played at the Rock Fest over the weekend. Do not ask why Backstreet Boys (do they still exist?!?!?!) and Richard Marx were playing in a Rock Fest, but wish I’d known! Would’ve loved to see him in concert. I absolutely die for “waiting for you”.

<^> I realised I really do need to buy more formal clothes, there are sales happening everywhere but I lack the money, the motivation, the time and energy to go shopping. What a bummer!

I hope whatever this phase is, it passes soon.

Song of the day: Waiting for you – Richard Marx

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The French Boy’s words

Caught up with a friend who is visiting India for a vacation. He’s French and had lived here a while ago. As his name is already as French as it can get, I will simply call him Jean.

Jean speaks 4 and a half languages (I think the half is Hindi) and has traveled enough to make me jealous. When we were chatting today, he mentioned that most of the companies who are offering him jobs absolutely do not consider the fact that he has a life outside the job. Which is why he is still unemployed.

I said that was corporate life. They want results and that sometimes excludes having a life – a real life – outside the job.

“I do not want such a job,” he said.

I laughed and tried to think of something that would make him understand why this was necessary. Money was the only reason I could come up with.

“I would rather work for little money and do something that makes me happy than earn lots of money and be miserable. I would probably have to spend more on treatment for depression then,” he said and laughed. It strangely echoed the same words I had said 4 years ago.

Money – when did it get so crucial? Was I seduced by big names and the mirage of big money. I don’t have either now and I’ve lost track of where I was headed as well. I would love to work for myself… have the ability to pick what I want to write or photograph.

In photography, I am not as brilliant as Jean. Nor do I have this artistic temperament that I would not work for money. I will, if I get to pick the work. I like to be known and appreciated. But the question is how?

I want to go back to uni… I wish I were French. Yes they definitely have a lot of problems but the Euro and the French Passport can open doors that the Indian rupee and passport cannot. Sad, but true. I am ready to work that extra mile to get out once I figure out which door is it exactly that I want to walk through.

Song of the day: Money Money Money  – Abba

Bitch Attack

Once in a while, it is so much fun to simply goad people. I try not to do this often because… well, it isn’t good, right?

It was a normal dinner conversation till the topic of Avatar came up. And it is common knowledge that I tend to go a little overboard about that movie. So when she said she watched the movie on DVD, I got a little annoyed. Which increased a little more when she said she didn’t understand what the fuss was about the movie because it was not good, nor was the imagery.

“You are an idiot,” I said, with a little more force than I intended to. Feathers ruffled.

There were others at the table who politely tried to explain to her that there was no point watching it on a small screen because this was a movie that really does need to be watched on a nice big screen. Even home theatres will not do justice to it and even if you do want to watch it on DVD, you have to wait for the modified for tv version.

So the argument started and just as it was about to get quite nasty, it blew out. But there was this red thing sitting on my shoulder, grinning at the way she easily fired up as well and I spent half the time needling her. I know how to do it… I could do it. Why? I don’t know. There never has been any love lost between us. All attempts at being nice to her simply floats over her head. And I tried. Honest.

So where is the point in being nice anymore? Where is the point in trying to fit in when all she does want to talk to are people who speak her own language?

Okay, I admit… that point annoys the hell out of me. I never like overly fanatical people. More so people who appear all chilled but latch on to people who speak their own language the minute they meet them. I do understand homesickness and sharing common ground over movies and stuff, but there is a point when that has to stop.

She is a bit of a kid… somehow, in this case, that excuse just makes me roll my eyes. It is fun being a rebel. But it is stupid being a rebel for the sake of it. I should know. I’ve been stupid in my time.

Song of the day: Patience – Guns N Roses